The Huge, Ultimate Wedding Gown Timeline & Shopping Advice
As if there aren’t enough things to keep track of when it comes to planning a wedding, your bridal gown isn’t as straightforward a task as it may seem. In a world of drop-shipping and Amazon Prime, most people don’t realize that a new order bridal gown can take anywhere from six to nine months to arrive and be ready for alterations… which require another two to three months.For our inaugural post, let’s break down the timeline of ordering and altering a custom bridal gown, and brain dump some advice on the process.
>> YOU ARE HERE <<
You just got engaged, found your dream venue, and picked a date… it’s time to start shopping!
According to The Knot’s Real Weddings Study, the average engagement length for an American couple is 15 months. Anecdotally, however, I’d say couples fall into one of two categories: the first is the couple that is able to book their venue in the ideal timeframe (12-18 months from their engagement), and have some time to enjoy being engaged before jumping into wedding planning. The second is the couple that finds their perfect venue, and the only dates available are either less than a year away or over 18 months away. I’ve theorized that all of this stems back to COVID and post-COVID weddings, but either way, it seems that couples end up with either the luxury of time or none at all.
So what does this mean for dress shopping?
Ideally, you should give yourself one year to find, order, and alter your dress. If you fall into the second category of couples and you’re moving quickly, just let the bridal salon know when you book your appointment - some designers have “quick ship” collections, can rush order dresses for a fee, or you may be able to purchase a sample gown.
But hopefully you DO have a full year - here’s where to start:
ONE YEAR OUT
Pre-Shopping Prep
First, what’s the vision?
My biggest piece of advice for brides ahead of wedding dress shopping is to spend some time really thinking about what you want to look like on your wedding day. This doesn’t mean listing out dress attributes - A-line, sweetheart neck, full skirt, etc. - but rather considering the overall aesthetic. A trick I stole from celebrity stylists is the three-adjective system: pick three words, phrases, or adjectives that describe how you want to look and feel on the big day, and start with that as you begin shopping. Here’s some adjectives to get started -
Edgy
Glamorous
Romantic
Boho or whimsical
Timeless
Elegant
Regal
Bold, daring
I also recommend taking stock of your emotions around shopping with so much attention focused on you. What do you know are going to be trigger words or points? Are there things you know you’ll be self conscious about? What will make you feel comfortable as you go through the process? Being prepared for the more emotional part of dress shopping is just as important as booking appointments and narrowing down your budget. Don’t be afraid to share those things with your stylist, either — as a former athlete with muscular arms, I have found that it’s a trigger point for me, but that adding a drapey off-the-shoulder sleeve really balances my proportions and covers the area of my arms I’m most self-conscious of; so when brides come in with similar concerns, I’m so excited to be able to share that with them and help them feel comfortable in their gown.
Start with that, rather than Instagram or Pinterest - online browsing is great for familiarizing yourself with brands and aesthetics, but can also be overwhelming and misleading.
Now: Who’s on the team?
Before you book any appointments and recruit your crew to join you, think hard about who you bring. Who will be supportive and offer constructive advice? Who will cheer you on and hype up how beautiful you look? It’s easy to get caught up in obligations, but having so much attention focused on you and your body can become overwhelming when the people there aren’t bringing something positive to the table. If there’s a certain aunt or future in-law you don’t think would be helpful in finding a dress, you can always bring them to pick out a veil and accessories and do a “gown reveal” with them.
Here’s a good litmus test for considering who will be helpful and who might do more harm than good: Think about the word flattering. ‘Flattering’ often masks a different meaning - ‘thin’. Consider how we always talk about wearing black - it’s often said that black is ‘flattering’, because it slims you down. But ‘flattering’ can also mean that something simply compliments your body well - it suits your proportions, fits your figure, and makes you feel comfortable. For example, I’ve found that as a girl with broad shoulders, a plunge neckline flatters me because it creates a beautiful long line and balances the width of my shoulders with the rest of my body. The neckline doesn’t make me look thinner, but it compliments my body in a way that looks and feels fantastic.
So who in your group might use flattering to mean a dress makes you look thin, and implies there are things that need to be covered or hidden? And who would tell you that a dress flatters you beautifully because you look bangin’ in it? You’d be surprised how easy it is to clock the difference and intention once you realize the different connotations.
Setting a Budget
When it comes to budget, there’s no right or wrong answer, and it’s totally okay to go to your first appointment not knowing what that number is - sometimes it’s easier to start shopping and see where you land, and then adjust from there. And REMEMBER: alterations are completely separate!
These are the standard price ranges I usually provide as a baseline:
Under or around $2,000
$2,000-2500
$2,500-3,000
$3,000-4,000
$4,000-6,000
$6,000-8,000
Under $10K
Budget is not a factor
Booking Your Appointments
One of the biggest mistakes I see brides make is booking 3-4 appointments in one day - it’s super exhausting, and you don’t really get to enjoy the experience. Ideally, book one appointment a weekend, and try not to go to more than 3 or 4 stores. The reality is that there are a million dresses out there, and you’ll look amazing in a lot of them - so limit yourself just enough that you have an array of options without going into decision paralysis.
A few notes on appointment etiquette -
Bridal salons are not traditional retail stores, and are more of a service than a transactional experience - so if you’re going to cancel, try to do so at least one day before so the shop can fill your appointment slot. Of course, if you end up finding your dress before an appointment and have to cancel, that’s totally fine! We’ll be happy for you and likely request details :)
If you purchase a gown, you may be asked if you’d like to leave a tip; while not necessary, stylists always appreciate even the smallest gratuity as a special thank you if their service was outstanding. Tips range from $25-250, but I’d say $50-100 is about average.
Yes, it’s totally okay to hype up the other brides in the store if there are others shopping - I often compare bridal shops to the bathroom of a bar at 2 AM, when all the girlies have had a few drinks and just start hyping each other up and helping each other with their makeup.
ONE YEAR OUT, CONTINUED
The Journey to Find ‘The One’
How many dresses should I try on?
When I started working in bridal, I noticed that brides had a really hard time feeling confident in their decision. I’d had this book on my shelf for a while, and decided to pick it up, and it was a game-changer — that book was The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz (2005). Schwartz’s book posits that the more choices we have, the more miserable we are, and the harder it is to make a decision. One stat that’s stuck with me: research has found that the ideal number of choices when making a decision is eight. So when you’re picking dresses to try on at each store, remember that number (although I recommend starting even lower, around 3-4 dresses). You can also think about it in terms of how many stores you go to - if you’re going to two stores in one day, limit yourself to four at each, for example.
What if I think I’ve found my dress, but I’m not quite sure?
I highly recommend sleeping on it if you’re unsure or just know that you need to sleep on big decisions. Your bridal stylist should also be encouraging and supportive of this, because we want to make sure you feel your absolute best and are happy with your gown. If you think you’ve found The One, but you’re not ready, just be honest - let your stylist know that you need to think about it, and ask about how to schedule a follow-up appointment. Most stores have the option to book a shorter appointment for this purpose - at Evermore, ours is 45 minutes, and you can book it on your own when you’re ready. If you decide it’s not the dress, just let the store know - we’ll be happy for you either way!
How will I know when I’ve found The One?
Brides always feel pressure to have a big, emotional moment like on TV - but in reality, this is rarely the case! Our clients tend to be fairly logical, and we approach it like a sports championship: we start with the playoff round, where we try on all the dresses initially picked out, then move on to the semi-finals where we’ve eliminated the “absolutely nots”, and finally on to the championship where we’ve narrowed it down to one or two dresses. It’s usually more about having a system and collecting feedback than it is about a swelling moment where everyone breaks out into tears.
That being said, you should be tapped into your emotions enough to feel the difference between a dress you can see yourself getting married in and one that’s just a pretty white dress. But the biggest factor I’ve found is body language: ask your stylist what they’ve observed about you when you’re in each dress, and what they notice when you see yourself in the mirror. There are definitely certain things I look for that can help me guide the client that they would never see on their own.
I’m ready to purchase my dress - what now?
Standard procedure is to put down a deposit (usually 50-60% of the total cost), and sign a Terms of Sale agreement that essentially acknowledges that it’s a final sale. At that point, the store will place the order with the designer, and your dress will go into production.
When you purchase, your consultant or other member of the store’s team should give you an estimated ship date - this is super important, because you’ll need to have your dress 2-3 months before your wedding for alterations. Make sure you’ve reviewed the shipping timeline and you’re comfortable with the estimated date. You should have options for rush shipping (an additional charge) if you’re worried about timing.
6 TO 3 MONTHS OUT
What Happens Next
Four to Five Months Out: Ordering Accessories & Formalwear
If you plan on wearing a veil or jewelry, you should give yourself a few months to find the right look, place the order, and receive it with enough time to try the entire ensemble on and make sure it’s what you want. Formalwear for guests, the bridal party, and parents should be ordered no closer than three months out - and that’s cutting it close!
Three to Six Months Out: Your Dress Arrives
Yes, it’s a wide range, and will depend almost entirely on the designer! You should have your dress no sooner than three months before the wedding, but it may come sooner.
Three Months Out: Start Alterations
Your first fitting should be about three months away from the wedding. Even if your dress arrives sooner, we don’t recommend starting alterations too soon. You’ll want to look for a seamstress who specializes in bridal gowns. We are super lucky to have an in-house seamstress, Ling Zhan, who most of our brides work with! If your store doesn’t have an in-house seamstress, ask around or check wedding websites like the Knot (and of course please feel free to email us to book with Ling - we gladly work with brides who got their gowns elsewhere!)
At your first fitting, you should have the shoes you plan on wearing or at least a pair of the same height, and any shape-wear you plan to wear. This allows the seamstress to hem and alter the dress accordingly, so it looks perfect on your wedding day.
You’ll most likely have three fittings, with the final one being just a final fit check and an overview of how to bustle the dress. If possible, bring the person who will be bustling your gown to the appointment and make sure they take lots of videos! If they can’t come, have someone film a video of the seamstress demonstrating and talking through how to properly bustle the train.
6 TO 3 MONTHS OUT
Time to take your dress home!
About 1-2 weeks before the wedding, you’ll take your dress home and get ready for the big day. Make sure to store it out of direct sunlight, in a cool dry place where there’s no risk of hair or makeup products getting on it. Keep it in the bag as long as possible, only taking it out the day of as you get ready.
Congratulations! You’re married… and you survived a year-long shopping process :)
We hope this was a helpful guide, but of course if you have any questions or need more advice, shoot us an email!
